Sunday, 19 June 2011

Conversations with Mother #2

So, my mum tried to call last night and I missed her call, then she tried to call me twice today while I was out flea market & charity shopping...  I text her to tell her I was out and that I'd call her tomorrow, but she text back to say she'd call me tonight.. which got me a bit worried, as she's usually more than happy to wait a few days for me to call her back... and as I said previously, we speak very rarely and considering it hadn't been long since our last conversation.. I was thinking it was going to be bad news.... Luckily it wasn't... so after our discussion about what she phoned for.. she asked where I'd been when she called in the morning, so I told her I was at a flea market with some friends.. this is the conversation which followed:

mum: you should be careful about the stuff you buy at flea markets, they are usually not very good quality.
me: well, this is a flea market where people come and sell their stuff.. (I think she was thinking more like Camden markets where it's stalls rather than like a jumble sale)
mum: so you're buying second hand clothes?
me: yes
mum: what did you buy?
me: two jackets
mum: don't you think it's weird to wear other people's clothes?
me: no.. 
mum: really?
me: yes.. (obviously, if I'm buying them..??)
mum: I'd never think to buy second hand clothes.. it's weird...
me: not really...
mum: what if the people have you know... "passed away" (she actually said passed away in English... weird!?)
me: well, then they don't need their clothes anymore!
mum: but what if they come back and are wondering where their clothes went?
me: ummm... 
mum: they might be angry they can't wear their clothes and you know... "pew pew" (she actually made that sound.. like when you make a gunshot sound.. pew pew - NO JOKE)
me: well, they should be shitty at their family members who sold their clothes, and not at me
mum: well they might be confused and wonder why you are wearing their clothes... they might really like their clothes..
me: well, won't they be happy that someone is happy wearing their clothes??
mum: hmmm.. it's weird.. what if they have some kind of disease? or skin problem?
me: well, I WASH the clothes before I wear them.. so they're CLEAN...
mum: it's still weird.. it makes me feel funny... 
me: ok
mum: it gives me the heebie geebies... bleugh (she actually made the bleugh sound...) you don't know anything about who had the clothes before you... it's not like if your aunt takes my clothes because they know I'm clean.. and they know it's because I don't fit the clothes anymore... 
me: ok..??
mum: how much were the jackets you bought??
me: £5 each, so £10 for both
mum: well, that's not very expensive
me: that's kind of the point
mum: why are you buying second hand clothes?? it's weird.. we're not poor, you can afford new clothes
me: yes I know, but I haven't been able to find a jacket, I've had a look in the shops and there's nothing I like..
mum: well, what are you looking for
me: like a trench coat.. 
mum: well, why don't you buy one from Burberry, you live in the UK, surely you can go to a Burberry
me: because their coats are expensive
mum: well, it's an investment... you know you're getting good quality
me: but I schlep around in my clothes and don't take care of them.. so don't want to spend loads of money on a coat...
mum: well, then just find one that's cheaper
me: but I haven't seen anything I like.. and I don't want to spend a lot of money on something I don't really like.. if I get something cheap, I don't care that I'm not crazy about it.. but if I'm going to spend a lot of money, I want to find something I like...
mum: I don't like the idea of you wearing second hand clothes.. £5 isn't a lot, you should give that jacket to a friend and go and buy yourself a new jacket
me: but there's nothing in the shops
mum: how can there be nothing in the shops!
me: everything is expensive!
mum: how much is expensive?
me: like £100
mum: (does the conversion) well, that's not a lot!
me: umm...
mum: why don't you go to like Z..... 
me: Zara?
mum: yea.. they'll have a nice trench coat
me: ok..
mum: if you think it's expensive, then you can put it on my credit card and it will be my present to you
me: ok
mum: but just give away those jackets you bought today.. give them to your friends or something... say your mum.. actually don't say I said.. just tell them you don't like them anymore and give them away...
me: umm.. ok...?? I could take it to a charity store!
mum: Oooh, that's good!! You could be doing a good deed!! 
me: mmm hmmm...
mum: Anyway, I just don't like it... bleugh... why would you buy second hand clothes? that's so weird... you're STRANGE! it's not like we're poor...
me: yes I know... 
mum: well go and buy yourself a new jacket.. buy two if you want... buy a few.. well not like five or six.. but one or two is ok.. put it on my credit card.. it'll be my present.. just give those other ones away...
me: fine
mum: you could go shopping tomorrow, it's Sunday!
me: yes mum...
mum: well good.. it's settled then.. go buy yourself a new jacket tomorrow, don't wear second hand clothes.. it's weird
me: I'll just pop along to LV tomorrow then and buy myself a jacket shall I?
mum: sure, whatever.. just don't wear second hand clothes anymore...

MUAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... Shopping Spree Courtesy of MUMMY!!  - Maybe I should talk to my mum more often!?!?!

I think I'll still keep my jackets.. coz they're quite nice jackets... I decided not to tell her I buy second hand clothes quite a lot and I thrift house wares too.. that would gross her right out... she'd probably fly out here and overhaul everything in my kitchen for fear there was stuff in there that someone else had used before...

shhhhh.. noone tell my mum!! 

Do I have the most ridiculous mother or what!?!?!

xx Cazside note: the monkey mister just referred to my updating my blog in "google reader and blogLand" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA  it's called blogger!! what a silly!! 


  1. haha fantastic! I love finding out that my mum isn't the only crazy one.

  2. I think all mothers must go thru something at childbirth that makes them all a bit loopy!!

  3. Considering my mother is considering the feelings of GHOSTS... I think I might win on that front!

  4. Your mom is hilarious! I love these posts so much! Parents really are ridiculous sometimes.

    Mr. Muffin has an expression, "Everyone's parents are insane."

    I think it's fairly spot-on, but don't tell my mom! Haha!

    <3 MuffinLovesBiscuit

  5. I'm glad you enjoy these posts Mrs B.. my mum is actually SO ridiculous!!

    I totally agree with Mr Muffin!! :)


  6. My mother has similar reactions to my buying second-hand clothes. I call them 'vintage' shops though (which they usually are)because she thinks they get made that way.

  7. Helen - I've done that before as well! "They're not old, they're just made to look that way.." *ahem*

    Maybe it's a generational thing??


♥ Your turn on the soapbox.. ♥