Conversations with Mother #2

So, my mum tried to call last night and I missed her call, then she tried to call me twice today while I was out flea market & charity shopping...  I text her to tell her I was out and that I'd call her tomorrow, but she text back to say she'd call me tonight.. which got me a bit worried, as she's usually more than happy to wait a few days for me to call her back... and as I said previously, we speak very rarely and considering it hadn't been long since our last conversation.. I was thinking it was going to be bad news.... Luckily it wasn't... so after our discussion about what she phoned for.. she asked where I'd been when she called in the morning, so I told her I was at a flea market with some friends.. this is the conversation which followed:

mum: you should be careful about the stuff you buy at flea markets, they are usually not very good quality.
me: well, this is a flea market where people come and sell their stuff.. (I think she was thinking more like Camden markets where it's stalls rather than like a jumble sale)
mum: so you're buying second hand clothes?
me: yes
mum: what did you buy?
me: two jackets
mum: don't you think it's weird to wear other people's clothes?
me: no.. 
mum: really?
me: yes.. (obviously, if I'm buying them..??)
mum: I'd never think to buy second hand clothes.. it's weird...
me: not really...
mum: what if the people have you know... "passed away" (she actually said passed away in English... weird!?)
me: well, then they don't need their clothes anymore!
mum: but what if they come back and are wondering where their clothes went?
me: ummm... 
mum: they might be angry they can't wear their clothes and you know... "pew pew" (she actually made that sound.. like when you make a gunshot sound.. pew pew - NO JOKE)
me: well, they should be shitty at their family members who sold their clothes, and not at me
mum: well they might be confused and wonder why you are wearing their clothes... they might really like their clothes..
me: well, won't they be happy that someone is happy wearing their clothes??
mum: hmmm.. it's weird.. what if they have some kind of disease? or skin problem?
me: well, I WASH the clothes before I wear them.. so they're CLEAN...
mum: it's still weird.. it makes me feel funny... 
me: ok
mum: it gives me the heebie geebies... bleugh (she actually made the bleugh sound...) you don't know anything about who had the clothes before you... it's not like if your aunt takes my clothes because they know I'm clean.. and they know it's because I don't fit the clothes anymore... 
me: ok..??
mum: how much were the jackets you bought??
me: £5 each, so £10 for both
mum: well, that's not very expensive
me: that's kind of the point
mum: why are you buying second hand clothes?? it's weird.. we're not poor, you can afford new clothes
me: yes I know, but I haven't been able to find a jacket, I've had a look in the shops and there's nothing I like..
mum: well, what are you looking for
me: like a trench coat.. 
mum: well, why don't you buy one from Burberry, you live in the UK, surely you can go to a Burberry
me: because their coats are expensive
mum: well, it's an investment... you know you're getting good quality
me: but I schlep around in my clothes and don't take care of them.. so don't want to spend loads of money on a coat...
mum: well, then just find one that's cheaper
me: but I haven't seen anything I like.. and I don't want to spend a lot of money on something I don't really like.. if I get something cheap, I don't care that I'm not crazy about it.. but if I'm going to spend a lot of money, I want to find something I like...
mum: I don't like the idea of you wearing second hand clothes.. £5 isn't a lot, you should give that jacket to a friend and go and buy yourself a new jacket
me: but there's nothing in the shops
mum: how can there be nothing in the shops!
me: everything is expensive!
mum: how much is expensive?
me: like £100
mum: (does the conversion) well, that's not a lot!
me: umm...
mum: why don't you go to like Z..... 
me: Zara?
mum: yea.. they'll have a nice trench coat
me: ok..
mum: if you think it's expensive, then you can put it on my credit card and it will be my present to you
me: ok
mum: but just give away those jackets you bought today.. give them to your friends or something... say your mum.. actually don't say I said.. just tell them you don't like them anymore and give them away...
me: umm.. ok...?? I could take it to a charity store!
mum: Oooh, that's good!! You could be doing a good deed!! 
me: mmm hmmm...
mum: Anyway, I just don't like it... bleugh... why would you buy second hand clothes? that's so weird... you're STRANGE! it's not like we're poor...
me: yes I know... 
mum: well go and buy yourself a new jacket.. buy two if you want... buy a few.. well not like five or six.. but one or two is ok.. put it on my credit card.. it'll be my present.. just give those other ones away...
me: fine
mum: you could go shopping tomorrow, it's Sunday!
me: yes mum...
mum: well good.. it's settled then.. go buy yourself a new jacket tomorrow, don't wear second hand clothes.. it's weird
me: I'll just pop along to LV tomorrow then and buy myself a jacket shall I?
mum: sure, whatever.. just don't wear second hand clothes anymore...


MUAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... Shopping Spree Courtesy of MUMMY!!  - Maybe I should talk to my mum more often!?!?!


I think I'll still keep my jackets.. coz they're quite nice jackets... I decided not to tell her I buy second hand clothes quite a lot and I thrift house wares too.. that would gross her right out... she'd probably fly out here and overhaul everything in my kitchen for fear there was stuff in there that someone else had used before...


shhhhh.. noone tell my mum!! 


Do I have the most ridiculous mother or what!?!?!


side note: the monkey mister just referred to my updating my blog in "google reader and blogLand" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA  it's called blogger!! what a silly!! 

Conversations with Mother...

I spoke to my mum on the weekend.. and while some people I know do this on a daily basis (whether they still live at home or not).. I am not one of those people... It's probably been a few months since I last spoke to my mum... we operate on a strictly "no news is good news" policy, if you will...

Anywhos.. the subjects covered in our 1hr 15min 13sec (thanks Skype!) + 15min (on my cellphone) follow up conversation were as follows:
a) E.Coli outbreak in Europe:
mum: So have you seen in the news all those people who have died?
me: Not really, I briefly saw it in the paper early in the week.. I thought only 4 had died?
mum: NOOO.. LOTS of people have died! {The news I've read suggests about 20 people have died}
me: From cucumbers or something yea?
mum: They don't think it's cucumbers, they think it's salad...
me: So should I stop eating salad?
mum: Well, they don't know exactly what it is...
me: So I'll just stop eating veg for a while??
mum: No... just be careful what you're eating...
me: Ok... 

This then lead on to
b) "You can't eat any food from Taiwan because studies have revealed they have been using things to make plastic as additives" (I suspect she might mean melamide? but I haven't actually read this in the news, so I'm not entirely sure what she's talking about... she didn't know the term in English and I didn't recognise the term in Mandarin...)
mum: have you seen in the news the US are banning the import of food from Taiwan because of this study?
me: no
mum: really? it's all in the news... US are now testing all the food from Taiwan before it's allowed in..
me: erm... ok?
mum: it's in EVERYTHING! from drinks to lotions to shower gels! even X company (a large food distributor in Taiwan) have had their food test positive!
me: ok...
mum: so you can't eat anything from Taiwan...
me: ok... (living in the UK, it's not really that easy to buy food from Taiwan..)
mum: it's a good thing I don't eat any of that processed stuff anyways...
me: yup huh.... 

mum: they've done studies.. and the average male sexual organs of males in Taiwan is 1cm shorter and also slimmer than the rest of the world... they've done blood tests, the levels of X chemical in Taiwanese people has 10% higher saturation than the rest of the world...

me: ok... (thinking, am I really having a conversation with my mother regarding male sexual organs!?!)

mum: it's even in infant formulas, so all those parents thinking they were doing good for their babies were feeding them bad stuff instead!
me: well, how long has it been going on?
mum: AGES... more than 10 years...
me: oh..
mum: in the blood tests they did, the levels here were 100times higher than anywhere else in the world...
me: that's not good...
-the conversations carried on for a bit more, but by the end of the conversation the saturation levels were thousands of times higher than average!

This then lead on to:
c) a debate over the size of fish which is safer to consume due to the Japanese nuclear fallout...
mum: oh, you should only eat fish that are small
me: WHAT?
mum: because big fish eat more radiation
me: yea, but you would have to eat MORE little fish to get full as opposed to one big fish...??
mum: but big fish eat more little fish...
me: yea but... would you not be eating the equivalent radiation eating more little fish to one big fish?
mum: no
me: why not (I take pleasure in goading my mother sometimes... I did figure out that she meant that big fish already eat radiation, then they eat more radiation eating little fish who have also eaten radiation, hence I guess the effect compounds exponentially, but I just like having senseless debates with my mum sometimes)
mum: BEEECAAAUUSSEEEE (said like a young child biding time trying to make up an excuse for something) the big fish already eat the radiation then they have to eat all the little fish... you know??
me: yea ok...
mum: do you really get it? or are you just saying ok so I'll stop going on about it?
me: I'll stop eating vegetables, nothing from Taiwan, and only small fish... got it!
mum: not just small fish... like baby fish.. but fish that don't get too big.. like those ones we have at the Japanese restaurant.. you know?? (she then lists off some other "small fish")
me: Right.. small fish, no veges & nothing from Taiwan or China... we'll all just starve to death! (she has this thing against anything made in China because of melamide poisoning and lead poisoning etc.. I hardly ever buy anything made in China anyways)... 
mum: *sigh* - I can sense her eye rolling at this stage... hehehe...

But by far my favourite part was this:
mum: Are you going to London again anytime soon?
me: in July, why?
mum: Well, I borrowed your bag the other day..
me: What bag?
mum: the one from that department store..
me: ok.. (she means Harrods)
mum: It's really handy when it's raining because I don't have to worry about anything getting wet!!
me: ok...
mum: so I was on the tram with it the other day... and I saw another person, an elderly gentleman.. well, actually he was probably younger than me! (who calls someone elderly then says that person is younger than themselves!?!?!?! anywhos..) HE had one that was quite brightly coloured... and the more I looked at your one, the more I thought it was a poo colour (she actually said "poo colour")
me: So, what you're telling me is, you went into my room, "borrowed" one of my bags.. and now you're complaining that it's a POO colour???
mum: well, it IS... browny... it's a poo colour...
me: you don't HAVE to use it you know?? if it's a POO colour...
mum: but it's so HANDY when it's wet out!
me: So I suppose you would like another one that is NOT a poo colour...
mum: Yes, something bright and colourful, especially for summer! maybe with flowers on it or something?
me: What size is the one you've got? All their flower ones are like granny flowers... (I actually don't remember the bag she's talking about, I know I have one, but couldn't tell you anything else about it... tho apparently it's poo coloured!)
mum: quite big... & I don't want granny flowers...
me: how big is quite big? how about dogs?
mum: like one of the ones you get from the department stores... just something bright...
me: but they have little ones and medium ones and GIANT ones! so no dogs?
mum: medium ones.. like bigger than an A4 page.. you know?? 
me: yup, ok... 
mum: so do they have littler ones too??
me: yes mother
mum: well, a smaller one might be quite handy for days I don't need so much stuff...!!
me: ok, I'll go get you some, brightly coloured bags in a variety of sizes, but not granny flowers, next time I'm in London..
mum: oh, only if you're in the area... don't go especially...
me: I'll just go anyways...
mum: but I suppose if you're not coming back anytime soon...
me: there is such a thing as POST? it's not like they weigh anything, I'll just send them to you..
mum: oh ok then!


Various other more mundane things were discussed.. but those were defo the highlights... in some horrendously juvenile way, I delighted in making my mother repeat the word poo.. hahahaha...

How often do you talk to your mum?? What kind of things do you talk about?? Does she ever borrow your stuff only to tell you all the things that are wrong with it upon its return??!!


Happy Monday!!

Penmanship...

So a few weekends ago I was at the wedding of Mr. & Mrs. P&M D in Manchester, gorgeous wedding, beautiful bride and the sun was shining in full force, the sky was blue and clear!

Invariably at these occasions, the time came when the Guestbook made its way around. Then came the discussion of 'who gets to write in it'... Mr T said that Ms D had the honour on their behalf because she has pretty writing.. the mister said I had to write our message because I have much neater writing than he..

Which got me to thinking.. why is it that girls (almost always) have much neater and "prettier" if not just more legible writing!!?? Seriously.. as a secretary/ admin assistant/ exec assistant/ receptionist.. I have worked with many misters and misses and as a general rule, ladies always write far more legibly than gentlemen...

But I have also noticed in recent times, that my own penmanship is getting worse, potentially due to the fact that I rarely write things down anymore... I do most of my correspondence over email and/or facebook and if not over the internet, most often by text message... I am not much of a phone person... I used to be.. in high school I spent countless hours blethering on the phone to friends.. often into the wee hours of the night, whispering under the covers to avoid getting yelled at by my parentals to go to sleep!

I'm not sure when I stopped being a phone person, but apparently I'm just not... I often see other friends on ye old facebook arranging to skype each other and wonder why noone ever wants to skype with me?? Then when I eventually DO get requests for skype dates, it's often during times when I can't make it.. :(  The last decent phone conversation I had with anyone was a) with mother - which was at least a couple of months ago and b) with Ms Sok when she lived in Doha and was arranging to come visit me in Edinburgh, and THAT was sometime in 2009!! Tho I did have a brief skype with Mr J last week for about half an hour...

I digress! With a lovely Hallmark Holiday just been and plenty of friends getting engaged (seriously, I've had 4 sets of friends announce engagements since New Year), there have been many cards to write  scribble in make a mess of .. I made such a mess in fact, of two cards, I ended up typing my message, printing it out, and sticking it into the cards instead...

Now, maybe I'm a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to card writing... but when people send me cards, they are things I keep* and treasure.. and I know this isn't most people's approach to cards.. but I like to think that some of my cards are kept so I like them to look neat and tidy.. (same with present wrapping, even though I know it's going to get ripped and destroyed, I still need to make it neat and tidy).. but I got to thinking... when did my handwriting start getting so bad???

Ugh!! Do people just not take pride in their (physical) writing anymore?? Or are we all just out of practice?? When I've asked my friends, most of them say, the last time they had to sit down and physically write something (more than just a quick note etc) was probably at school.. 3 hour long English exams anyone?? Where you wrote till you hand cramped, then you wrote some more??!!  - Maybe that's why we don't write anymore?? We're all traumatised!!

What do you think of YOUR handwriting???


*as in, when I had to clear up and pack the contents of my parent's house (after I finished univeristy) I found birthday and Christmas cards which I'd received in PRIMARY SCHOOL!! no joke!! Some of them, I don't even remember who the people ARE anymore.. but some of them.. a card in the shape of an english sheepdog (they had one as a pet), given to me by my BFF at the time Emma, really made me smile.. I still have that card, it's in storage now, but I've kept it.. I couldn't bring myself to throw it away.. you could say I'm a little bit of a hoarder!!